Ladies and gentlemen, meet the contestants of Stachetoberfest.
Name: Mr. Hickey
Occupation: Bad ass M F'er
Age: ageless
Mr. Hickey grew up in Rhode Island and loves punk rock, leather-covered USB sticks and gyros. He has a lifetime's worth of tuxedo rentals.
Name: Trujillo
Occupation: Token Latino
Known aliases: Jil, Da Man, Toke
This dude likes to breakdance in parking lots, wear capes, and listen to Bobby B records on the weekends.
Name: Jack
Occupation: Half of the Beejays
Known aliases: Jackers, J-Lo, Mr. Jubblies
Jack enjoys going to the beach, camping, soccer, working out, blogging, bowling, and cougars.
Name: Irish McGillicuddy
Occupation: The man we all want to be
Known Aliases: The Doctor, The Silver Fox, Cougar Killer
Known to be hanging out in pubs, receiving high praise from college girls after "great" performances, which are then followed by high 5's from the dudes checking out the college girls. This cycle of events works well for The Doctor.
Name: Mr. Howard
Occupation: Angling machine
Largest organ: Skin
Mr. Howard makes a mean campfire dinner. And has freckles. Nuff said.
Name: Beastwood
Known aliases: Brian
Occupation: Other half of the Beejays
Beastwood has been spotted eating vats worth of pasta at a time, running road races and innapropriately touching fish. Don't ask, don't tell.
Name: Victor
Known aliases: Tessa's boyfriend
Occupation: Mainer
Not much is known about this man, except that he is really cool. And is going out with Tessa. And can play guitar. And does something involving software engineering. And is Brazilian in a way that doesn't involve wax. Ok, that's TMI. Let's go back to not knowing anything.
Name: Kraemer
Occupation: Beer
Sex: lots
Kraemer is known to enjoy sushi, snakes, planes, kickball, the ladies, the Cubs, and Fribbles.